Ashleee Karen

Made it 4 months celibate…now what??

The Sitting on the Couch Club

Posted by ashleeekaren on August 31, 2010


In an attempt to embark successfully on this No Sex journey my friends and I have formed the “Sitting in the Couch Club”. It’s self explanatory. They don’t know about my no sex journey and if they did I would probably get a bunch of eye rolls and “Yeah rights…”. I don’t need negative energy like that while I am embarking on this difficult endeavor.

Dave has been calling quite a bit lately. He called yesterday morning and then two more times throughout the day. Even though I know nothing is gonna happen between us, I would be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy the attention. I do. We have a lot in common, he’s funny, and he’s got a deep sexy voice. And I’m a sucker for a deep voice. But I keep him at arms length, emotionally and physically.

Ron also texted last night. Ron, Ron, Ron… He would make excellent genetic material with which to procreate…however he’s a little messed up in the head. A little messed up like me I guess.

I met Ron about 5 years ago. I was a law clerk waiting to pass the bar and he walked into the elevator. He had just interviewed and I remember thinking, damn he’s hot. Tall, blonde, blue eyed with a nice suit on. A deadly combination for me and my weak knees. We exchanged a few pleasantries and he got off the elevator and I crossed my fingers that he would get hired.

He did. So did I and eventually we ended up with offices just down the hall from each other. I was not the only girl who had noticed Ron. And apparently he made a habit of noticing girls quite a bit. But I had started seeing T—-by that time and didn’t care as much anymore. Eventually I left that office but he and I stayed in touch. Tom and I had been off and on and in one of the off periods I eventually hooked up with Ron. When things got really bad with Tom I eventually cheated on him with Ron (as I often do when I want out of the relationship but don’t even know I do).

Since then we have developed into an interesting friendship. We chat, text and have lunch here and there and I’ve told him we can only have sex every 6 months. Otherwise I will get attached. He hates that rule. I just hooked up with Ron a month or so ago and so he’s got another 4-5 months before he gets in again. However with my new goal of no sex (for a year? Hmm..I dunno) he won’t be getting in anywhere….

Anyway he texted last night and I was tempted to invite him over. But I was having too much fun sitting on the couch with my girlfriends complaining about the last guy to annoy the shit out of one of us.

Throughout this complaining I was reminding of why I started this no sex journey. So I just ignored him and made sure I did my duties as a founding member of the Sitting on the Couch Club. And I just sat there on the couch.

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3 Responses to “The Sitting on the Couch Club”

  1. vasafaxa said

    I am interested in hearing more of dave.

    • Hmmm, well Dave is kind of a fool…he is pretty sure that the world is hating on him cuz he’s young, successful and dresses well. I have yet to break it to him that wearing polo shirts and dockers EVERYDAY is hardly dressing well enough to have people hate on you. BUT, he does make really good money – only with how messed up he is, he might not have anyone to share it with…

      Maybe you can sense how my attitude towards Dave has changed (I wrote this post a little over a month ago I think). He’s like, kind of annoying now and more a nuisance than anything else.

      On top of that he could only last about 20 seconds in bed. NO JOKE. Just didn’t put that before cuz I still had affection for the guy. He’s ok to keep me from being bored, but I don’t invest any real time into him anymore.

  2. […] allow myself the luxury of sleeping in and waiting the traffic out.  This was not to be, as Ron must have SMELLED how unbelievably sex starved I feel.  He texted me this morning at 6 AM.  He […]

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