Ashleee Karen

Made it 4 months celibate…now what??

Day 26/365 – What the Hell Was I Thinking?!

Posted by ashleeekaren on September 22, 2010

The IAB team trecking uphill at the CARE Challenge

Image by iabuk via Flickr

It’s Day 26/365 and I might have a break down.  That innocent optimism I had back when I started this blog is quickly fading in the face of my raging hormones.  Even though I have successfully dodged several attempts by attractive men to get into my pants this month, it feels like I have accomplished little to nothing in this quest for year long celibacy.  I got turned on last night watching TV and it wasn’t even porn.  I woke up this morning thinking about ex boyfriends who are no good for me and imagined what it would be like to rationalize my way into a quick hook up with one of them…  I walked into court today and checked out every bailiff and cop in the place (although…I admit I do that EVERY time I go to court.  There’s just something about guys in uniforms…)

Focus, focus, focus.  I have to remember the reason I am doing this is so that I can focus on myself and clear my head.  I’m doing this cuz I normally make stupid mistakes in the pursuit of love and/or sex.  I have gotten myself into nothing by trouble in the pursuit of sex – whether it’s with a guy I actually like (giving it up too early), or a guy I just want to hook up with (getting attached).

This is DEFINITELY going to be an uphill climb…I think I can, I think I can, I think I can…


5 Responses to “Day 26/365 – What the Hell Was I Thinking?!”

  1. You sound determined, you will be fine! Just watch a great movie, like “The Wedding Date” or “Must Love Dogs.”

    • I am kind of a cynic and don’t really watch romantic comedies – they’re too depressing cuz I know none of that stuff really ever happens. Although I did see “Must Love Dogs” but that’s only cuz I like John Cusack.

  2. What are your thoughts on romance novels or erotic fiction?

    • Hmmm… Haven’t read a romance novel in years and probably haven’t read erotic fiction for about a year or so. Just doesn’t do it for me. I know a lot of women like that kind of stuff since it sometimes seems less salacious than porn videos.

      And I’m not sure whether porn, erotic fiction etc is going to help or hurt me in my quest. It may relieve me, nut it may also incite me to act. Jury is out on that one…

  3. I wasn’t suggesting either for you, was just curious as to your thoughts, since you said you didn’t like romantic comedies. Believe it or not, you will be okay, just hang in there!

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