Ashleee Karen

Made it 4 months celibate…now what??

“I’m not a petty thief…”

Posted by ashleeekaren on November 16, 2010

“…I commit grand theft…”

Probably the BEST/WORST line that has been ever been used on me. EVER.  “But I don’t get it, AK, what kind of line is that?” is what you’re probably thinking.  So… it happened this weekend as follows:

Went to a party at my friends house – he knows some people, who know some people, and many of these people showed up, including the deliverer of the above line, who we’ll call “Grand Theft Guy”.  I had met him once before briefly and remember thinking what a nice guy he was.  He’s a somewhat well known musician who has been a bit behind the scenes for the past few years.

Anyways, he comes up to me and says hello.  We catch up briefly, talk a little business and it seems like things are going well for him.  I tell him I’m happy to hear that.  We chat a bit longer and each continue to mingle separately throughout the party.

He comes up to me again later and starts chatting me up.  He’s telling jokes, cracking me up, and all of a sudden…I’m looking at him a little bit differently than before.  Trying to remember some of the PUA stuff I’ve been learning about, I suddenly become a little on guard and start to eye him suspiciously.

But I can’t. It’s so hard. He seems so genuine and nice and funny, and he’s got a great personality.  On top of that, although he’s not the usual type that I would date physically, I find myself becoming physically attracted to him.  The host of the party always talks about how Grand Theft is such a nice guy…I like Grand Theft’s style too… (I’m big on style – I know, it’s so shallow…)

By the end of the night, he’s got me blushing – he pulls his chair up close to mine, and slowly and smoothly, puts his hand on my leg.  My hand is resting on my leg, and so he reaches for my hand and starts to hold it.  All of this while we are talking to other people in a big group.  Just right smack dab in front of them.

Wow.  This guy has got some balls.

It’s not just the physical touching that I find ballsy…and I wish I could divulge some more detail about this person so you could understand exactly how ballsy it is for him to be hitting on me like that.  But just in case some of you sly readers are curious enough to try and figure it out, I unfortunately won’t reveal more.  Just let me tell you…it was BALLSY.

And I was immediately attracted to it. I got the tingles.  I got the tingles when I SHOULDN’T be getting the tingles…

He says some more cute stuff to get me to agree to a date.  I joke with him a little but let him know that the answer is yes.  While I’m sitting next to him at the party, he texts:

GT: Can’t wait to see you again, lil’ miss super amazing with ridiculous flavor and style. Hope we can finally get to know each other.  You really do turn me on, not only physically, but also mentally.

I look up at him and smile. I am so nervous I don’t know what to say. Me.  AK with the big ass loud mouth.  Public speaker AK.  Nervous and giddy.

Anyway, I had to give my friend a ride home, and Grand Theft offered to walk me out to my car – he had a phone case in his car that he wanted to give me because I had remarked earlier in the night how I liked someone else’s.  I walked over to his car with him and he handed me the case.  He asked for a hug, and I gave it to him.  As he had his arm around me, he quickly asked for a kiss, pulled me in, and planted one right on my toothy grin before I could respond, “Yes!”  It was adorable.  So then he says,

GT: Just had to steal that.  I’m a thief.  But I ain’t a petty thief. I only steal things of high value.  I just committed grand theft.

AK: (Blushing and all smiley) Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee

Like a little girl…

I drove my friend home, remarking how I had such a good time at the party and how glad I was that I decided to go.  My friend just chuckles at me, and says, “Yeah, I BET you’re glad.”

I texted Grand Theft back later that night and said

AK: You are so sweet – definitely putting a smile on my face reading this text. It was nice hanging out with you tonight 🙂

Buuuuut.  Haven’t heard back.

I keep trying to figure out why I’m so giddy…has this celibate thing made me so starved for attention that I’m reduced to a nervous little girl, and not the strong confident woman who is used to lines like this…?  He’ll probably never call, but that’s ok.  It’s just interesting to be hit on during this celibacy thing…

Thoughts?  Questions? Comments?


27 Responses to ““I’m not a petty thief…””

  1. saddha said

    Standard PUA strategy, which is working quite well apparently. He’s going to wait for a few days in order to generate even more interest from you. If you want to understand a little better what’s going on you might want to visit some of the PUA sites like.
    Good luck. You’re going to need it.

    • Yeah I’m interested and I shouldn’t be…I’ve been meaning to check out Roissy and Rooshv. I’m a little apprehensive as I have heard Roissy called the “Dark Lord”…

  2. OK, he had me up until this part of his text: “lil’ miss super amazing with ridiculous flavor and style. Hope we can finally get to know each other. You really do turn me on, not only physically, but also mentally.”

    That’s a little extreme. If he had just left it at “Can’t wait to see you again,” I’d have been OK.

    That’s just me though – I don’t like super gushy texts especially after I just met someone. It’s too over the top.

    However, I will admit – his physical flirtation was ballsy.

    • Lol, you know I’m usually the same way but for some reason I went for it, like the sucker I am. Hard to explain but it kind of fits his personality and it came off kind of effortless and…sexy.

      Now I’m staring at my phone…sigh…

  3. Rivelino said

    “it came off kind of effortless”

    Effortless is key.

    • Yes apparently this guy knows what he’s doing. But now that I think of it, he didn’t give me any backhanded compliments, no push/pull, or negs… The only PUA technique that is obvious (at least to me) is him not texting me back… Although I thought of you, Rivelino, when he reached over and grabbed the base of my neck (we were talking about weaves – and no I don’t have one) and massaged it slightly while remarking to everyone how soft my hair was. Then he leaned in and said, “you like that? How I’m just going for it?”. I smiled, but didn’t move. I liked his hand there.

      Made me think of you and Mia and that exchange in the cubicle…establishing a physical dominance like that is such a turn on…

      • Rivelino said

        Physical dominance is key. In fact, dominance of every kind is key.

        That is because sex is dominance.

      • Do you think sex can be about love? Not saying I’m in love or anything, I’m just curious about what you think.

      • Rivelino said

        Everything can be about love. Sex in particular, yes, has a huge intimacy component, but sex comes before love, not love before sex.

        What I mean is that fucking is ultimately a separate need, and a more primal need, and thus you could say it is a deeper need, than the need for romantic love.

        So if someone fulfills that primal need, you are more open to “falling in love” with that person.

        Whereas you could truly love someone and not want to fuck them.

        So sex comes before love.

        Our culture has just conflated the two, into “making love.” Making love, I would argue, does not really exist.

        And fucking, ideally, should be spiritual and holistic and positive and giving regardless, without it having anything to do with romantic love, in the same way that fucking ideally should not be about power trips or passing judgement on another person.

        But I do believe that even spiritual fucking, at its core, is about the masculine energy dominating the feminine energy.

        That is why to me, game at its core is about projecting dominant masculine energy.

        And the interesting phenomena I have observed is that the more dominant masculine energy I project into the world, the more that girls respond with a coquettish feminine energy.

        One begets the other.

        Romantic love is really a separate social layer placed on top of these deep, universal energy flows.

      • I personally think sex can be about love, and should be so more often than not. When I posed the question to you, I was more interested in what a PUA answer would be – if guys who run game can think of sex in a romantic loving way, and not just a goal line at the end of a pursuit

      • Rivelino said

        “I personally think sex can be about love”

        For you, the question is not, what is sex, but, what is love.

        What does love mean to you Ashleee?

      • Excellent question…I will have to devote a post to this as I think it’s good to think about during my project. The definition has changed for me over the years so I think that it’s time I re-evaluate my definition as I have not been in love for a long time.

      • Rivelino said

        Have you started the Marry Him book?

      • Still reading The Secret Lives of Men

      • Rivelino said

        Interesting book. I might have to check it out. Give us a book report when you are done.

        Although again, I don’t think you need to learn more about men. You need to learn more about you.

      • I definitely need to learn more about me.

  4. dreamidreamed said

    Your life is so bananas. You can’t make this stuff up!

  5. ASF said

    This is a good post because it shows that it all works. And it further confirms what things women generally find attractive in men: good conversation, physicality, confidence (i.e. balls), and going for it/directness. Game doesn’t have to involve negs, etc. Those depend entirely on the situation and the person. My guess is that he’s a natural.

    Doubt roissy/roosh are going to be helpful really. Game is kind of a re-learning of what is necessary to be a man who goes for the women he wants. Women like these men, so everyone wins.

    • “Game is kind of a re-learning of what is necessary to be a man who goes for the women he wants.”

      – I like this!

      Yes it’s all working on me unfortunately…not saying he’s getting in my pants or anything since I barely know the guy. But for a guy I wouldn’t be interested normally on a physical level, (and a few other practical reasons as well) he’s doing pretty well so far.

  6. […] Rivelino: Everything can be about love. […]

  7. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by T, Ashleee Karen. Ashleee Karen said: "I'm not a petty thief…": […]

  8. Gwen said

    I’m also reading The Secret Lives of Men. What are you thinking so far?

    As for this dude, have you heard back from him? He would absolutely have gotten my attention with confidence (arrogance?) like that.

    • Ack! I’m only on the first chapter – work has been crazy this week and last. I will read more and report back.

      I did hear from him this week – he texted and I texted back buy haven’t heard anything since then. Apparently he’s flakey and that makes my interest wane….

      • Gwen said

        I’m only barely into chapter two. It’s not as insightful/interesting as I had hoped.

        Flakey or an asshat. One of the two. 😉

      • Or both? Haha. He just texted.

        Flakey isn’t interesting. Flakey is boring. I want a dude who gets it and doesn’t have to play these games. Not saying I want a pushover or someone who is all up in my business all the time. But if you’re interested – show it. Be cool. But show it. Then get after it! If I’m giving you the green light, then go!

  9. […] Ashleee Karen – ““I’m Not a Petty Thief…”” […]

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