Ashleee Karen

Made it 4 months celibate…now what??

Time to re-boot

Posted by ashleeekaren on December 2, 2010


Just reading over some of my recent posts and considering all the comments that have been made and you know what?!  I need to re-boot.

I started this blog so that I could document my celibacy project, and in the past few weeks it’s turned into just another dating blog… For shame, Ashleee Karen, for SHAME.

So I’m re-booting.   Time to go back to where I started – trying not to have sex for a year and using that year to explore me and who I am.  Who is AK?  What does AK want? Where does AK see herself in the next 5 years?  And why is AK writing in the 3rd person???

Now, there’s nothing wrong with dating blogs – I read some of them quite enthusiastically…but if I lose sight of the theme of this blog, then I lose sight of this project and I don’t want to do that.  Reading the last few posts, I’m like, so annoyed with myself.  I just wanna scream SHUT THE %#$! UP ASHLEEE! I will probably talk about dudes here and there, and I will give you guys updates on GT and Martin if any become available, but only as it pertains to my project.  SO this is where I’ve decided to leave things with those guys:

GT: If it happens, it happens.  If it doesn’t, it doesn’t.  He called the other day but I didn’t even care enough to post about it.  I’m not going to get drawn into his world…not because I’m a princess or I think I’m so unique or so wonderful, but because the more I’m drawn into what he wants, thinks, needs, and does, the less time I have to concentrate on what I want, think, need, and do.

Martin: I am going to give myself 3 months and re-visit the issue then. I honestly just don’t want to deal with him right now.  I’m still upset with him and I need to figure out why, and how I can stop, before I even consider going out on a date with the guy.

See, this is what I do.  I tell myself, no I’m not gonna date, I’m going to take a break, blah blah blah blah.  And then inevitably some dude comes along and wants to take me out, or some loser ex crawls out of some godforsaken hole with all these feelings and crap, and then all of a sudden it’s like, OHHHH, what should I do? What should I do??

It’s annoying.  I annoy myself.  Who CARES about these dudes?  I need to stop using these men as a distraction from myself and just learn to BE.  Be AK, not AKwhoisdatingGT, or AKwhoMartinwantstodateagain.  Just be AK.

SO,  Ctrl, Alt and Del!

Which brings us to this:

Today is Day 97/365 of the Ashleee Karen Celibacy Project 2010-11.

Days since Actual sex? 116.

Days until my new vibrator arrives?  5-7 business days.

😉

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15 Responses to “Time to re-boot”

  1. Lily said

    *like*

    • Thanks 🙂

      As I posted in a comment before, part of this re-boot is to do at least 1 of the 3 hobbies I discussed with Riv, at least once a day. So I read or play on the guitar a bit everyday – keeps me occupied and prevents me from worrying about Dumb and Dumber (right now, GT and Martin, HA). The hiking is harder since I have to take a bit more time out of the day to do it, and it’s not really conducive to doing at night when I come home from a long day at work.

  2. Racer X said

    Yes, you do not want this to become another dating blog. The world is filled with those. They are insufferably boring.

    Your theme of trying to be celibate for a year is a good one, stick to it.

    Meanwhile, I will try as much as I can to tempt you, frustrate you, and at least make you wear out your vibrator as quickly as possible.

    I want your panties soaking wet with pent up sexual frustration, especially after you read one of my posts about you…

    And phone sex is still not violating the celibacy pact. It is really a means to help you get through it. Plus I can help give you a terrific orgasms, just from the sound of my deep voice…

    • Yes! Some of them are boring. I was reading my own stuff like, wow, I sound WHINY as hell…

      I appreciate the efforts to get me to mess up, but as time goes on, it gets easier for me physically…

      I think when it will get difficult is if I actually put myself in a position where I could have sex with someone…then it will be harder for me to say no, because yes, I do still have pent up sexual frustration.

      Have you thought about phone sex with Gwen? I think the two of you are starting to get along swimmingly… 😉

      • Racer X said

        Time may be making your project easier for you, but I shall not give up on my efforts to weaken you. All women have that moment of vulnerability…

        And I’d be more than happy to explore whatever erotic experiences Gwen is open to…

      • gwen said

        Hey now! You’re talking like I’m not even *here. 😉

        You’re doing great, AK. Life will take a detour from time to time. The important thing is that you’re back on track for YOU.

      • I’m just trying to play phone sex matchmaker…

        And thanks for the vote of confidence! I’m back on track…!

      • Racer X said

        “phone sex matchmaker”…

        haha…that sounds it could be a new reality show, perhaps on the lines of “The Millionaire Matchmaker”. I would gladly be a participant in that. Or rather, I would be the prize. The female winner gets to have phone sex with me. I am that good at it.

      • I think you should record a brief audio clip and post it on your blog, kind of like a free sample…

  3. Rivelino said

    I am proud of you. I should start something similar. 365 days without Mia on my mind.

  4. adrian drummond said

    All these issues seem mutually inclusive to me.

    I don’t see how you can truely document your attempt at celibacy whilst at the same time ignoring all the temptations that are swirling about you.

    On a more selfish note, and from someone who likes the erotic, I’m always up for hearing (in glorious detail) what goes through a girl’s mind when field trialling her new vibrator. I’m unshockable, so don’t hold back 🙂

    Cheers, AD

    • Good point – I guess I should’ve been more clear – I will still blog about temptations, but it will not be the main focus as it has been in recent posts.

      And I will let you know about the new vibrator 😉

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