Ashleee Karen

Made it 4 months celibate…now what??

Losing Momentum to Gain Full Entry to my Vagina

Posted by ashleeekaren on December 11, 2010


So GT had good momentum at first – after our Just the Tip Game, he called and texted and was very attentive. It felt nice that it didn’t feel like a game – he called and texted when he wanted to and I answered and texted back when he did.

So I had to be out of town this weekend and I called him to see if he wanted to get together before I left. We were both pretty busy during the week but we decided to meet halfway Weds night – I was at a party at a bar and he was going to meet me up.

He came but couldn’t stay for too long. He met some of my friends and was polite and friendly. We had a good time. We kissed for a bit and he had to go. I asked him to text me when he got home so I know he got home alright. He did.

I texted him the next day and said it was nice seeing him and thanked him for coming out.

Haven’t heard from him since.

Perhaps for some this would be considered his effort to build interest or push/pull or whatever….

But what its doing for me is making me doubtful. Although he’s already gotten the tip in, in my mind, he has not assured himself full entry into my vagina.

I started thinking about this after reading Paul the Kings recent post on momentum http://paultheking.wordpress.com/2010/12/10/the-power-of-momentum-nsfw/.

Basically, for him to keep my panties wet, he’s going to have to put more work in. He may *think* that he’s in, but now I’m having doubts about it.

I don’t like Hot and Cold. Him not responding to me does not make me want to jump his bones. Keeping in touch with me via text or phone is like foreplay – it keeps that momentum going and increases the likelihood of sex as well as decreases the amount of time I will make him wait for full access.

Whereas I was previously trying to figure out WHEN we would sleep together, now I’m trying to figure out WHETHER I will…

Thoughts??

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34 Responses to “Losing Momentum to Gain Full Entry to my Vagina”

  1. You are spinning the wheel.

  2. dreamidreamed said

    Two days ago you were Giggles McGiggleson and now you’re revoking his Va-jay-jay pass! Maybe he *knows* you’re busy (and out of town), so he doesn’t want to bother you. Or he just didn’t have anything to say. Whatever the reason, it’s only been two days. Chill out. You’re letting your cray cray show!

    • I show my cray cray to you. Then you are entertained. After having exercised my cray cray to you all then I will not engage in the same cray cray with him. See? Win win.

      Actually you are correct. I need to calm down.

      • “I show my cray cray to you. Then you are entertained. After having exercised my cray cray to you all then I will not engage in the same cray cray with him.”

        Doesn’t work that way. The more you exercise your cray cray, the stronger it gets.

      • Hmmm. You are right.

        Crazy makes more crazy.

      • dreamidreamed said

        LOL – so I’m like a cray cray warm up. I like, I like!

        Seriously though, wait until you are back from your trip. If you haven’t heard from him in a few days, then by all means revoke his Va-jay-jay pass.

      • Yes. Plus I’ve got other nonsense to keep me busy. This conference rocks and I have a day to wander around this awesome city!

  3. Racer X said

    As I said before, he is weak.

    Racer X would have no problem closing the deal with you. I would both keep your panties wet and your vagina filled up. Once I get the tip in a girl, I finish the job, to her intense satisfaction, over and over and over again.

  4. T said

    I’ve been iffy on this dude from the beginning. You know that. He’s either playing games. Shit, I know because I used too. Or you’re overreacting. Or both. If it’s the perfect storm of both, then it’ll be hard for you to see what’s really going on. Give it a few days. See what he does. But HE has to do something. Not you. He already knows what he can do with and to you. If he just wants ass or already got as much as he wanted just for gamesmanship sake, you’ll find out soon enough.

    • Most people in this blogosphere have been iffy so far on GT…hmmm maybe I should look into that.

      I think you’re right. I should just stop overreacting and over-analyzing.

      • Racer X said

        “Most people in this blogosphere have been iffy so far on GT…hmmm maybe I should look into that.”

        Perhaps they are simply burning up with jealousy that he got the tip in and they have not.

      • Haha, maybe!

        The tip was fun – but I’d like more than the tip. He just has to play his cards right…

  5. paultheking said

    You know its pretty funny you mentioned momentum for “just the tip”. I don’t know any guy that would stop at just the tip.. I think thats kind of the whole point of that game. Thats like inviting a girl over to “watch a movie” and actually only watching the movie. Great post overall, got a smile out of me 🙂

  6. Ford Inbody said

    If nothing else it sounds like you are being much more discerning and thoughtful about all of this than when your project started. You definitely seem a much happier person as well.

    That’s always a good thing!

    • Well thanks! It’s a struggle…I think I would’ve been freaking out more a few months ago before starting this project.

    • gwen said

      I totally agree with this. You’re looking at things a little more critically than women tend to. Or, less critically?

      That said, I’d be annoyed with his behavior, too. Losing interest is the perfect description.

      • Thanks!

        I find it hard to be interested in people who aren’t interested in me. I think that’s different compared to when a man sends mixed signals. Mixed signals get me confused/interested – kinda like crossword and sudoku puzzles…

        NO signals just makes me uninterested.

  7. Neo said

    I think this type of ‘aloof’ game is overrated and overused by guys. I’ve done things like this before and in general it just causes the girl to have doubts and pushes her away as in your case. Once it’s obvious that she is into you I think it does more harm than good. Your doubtful feelings are normal.

    • I’m trying not to over-analyze too much…I’m just going to see what happens and I won’t exert any more effort. I don’t mind encouraging him once he’s made the effort, but he still needs to make it.

      I’m not even sure he’s making a conscious effort to run game – I think this may just be how he is… whatever the case is, I think I need to just chill and hang back and see what he does. I don’t want to play games, but at the same time, I don’t want to be played like a fool either.

  8. Charliej said

    found your blog about a week ago – interesting because i started a celibacy project like this (and created a blog) about three weeks ago :-P. What you’re doing now – with the analyzing and going back and forth, is something i do a lot of as well – and was actually part of the reason I decided to give it a rest with guys for awhile.
    Maybe just relax – let what happens, happen. and if it doesn’t…well – there are a lot of single men in their 30s out there dying to be with a successful woman! if it doesn’t work out and he is just in it to have sex – well – you can wipe your brow, say ‘phew’ and give a quick thanks that you avoided that one 🙂

    • Nice! A sister in arms! (Is that the correct saying??) Anyway, yes, as humans we analyze – as women, we go back and forth, haha. I’m trying to do the opposite of what I normally do which is freak out and feel bad about myself… and really I shouldn’t. It probably has nothing to do with me.

      So yes, I’m in relax mode…! (Or at least I’m trying to be).

      Thanks for reading and good luck with your celibacy as well 🙂

    • Charliej said

      Haha. Sister in arms works for me!
      Definitely don’t feel bad for yourself. I hate to say it – but that general ‘crowd,’ (and by that i mean the land of the musicians) whether they be successful or no – tend to come with some major issues with settling down and doing relationships the normal way.
      They’re hopeless romantics at heart – but they want all the beauty and passion and sparks flying (much like being on stage) – without all the rest of the nitty gritty.
      But god – they look so good doing it, don’t they!?

      • Haha, well yes, there is certainly something to be said for his swagger…I like that in a man – musician or not. I’ve heard some of his music, but nothing recent, although I guess he was just in the studio working on some stuff so I can’t wait to hear it. Trying not to act like a groupie with him – the first time we met I had no idea who he was and I think maybe he likes that a little bit, but it’s conflicting with his inner rock star – he wants to impress me, but at the same time, doesn’t want some groupie as a girlfriend…

        It’s so strange too – you know when you meet someone you ask them about themselves, their childhood, their career – and when we get to the career part it’s like, I feel a bit awkward. I am interested in what he does for a living, but only in the sense that it’s what he does – the same way I would be interested in any guys career.

        I would to see him on stage though!

  9. Charliej said

    Also – i personally think you’re still celibate. I mean – ok technically one part touched another so you’re not – but i think it’s all in your mindset, really! And you learned something valuable – don’t go hang out with a guy you’re totally into and get drunk – it will definitely lead to sex!

  10. hank reardon said

    In choosing this project you are still focusing on sex.
    Your hamster wheel has gained momentum and strength. Focus your energies young one, focus.

  11. Doug1 said

    I don’t have a very good sense of this guy (haven’t read about he couple weeks preceding, but did read you’ve gotten real interested), but he may be feeling a little pissed at himself for driving some distance to see you for just a little bit, and then having to go with no forward movement. Sort of lame on this part — more loss of momentum.

    I’d have passed on seeing you in that way at this stage, but expressed interest in getting together when you were back.

    That could be another reason he’s holding back for a bit. Just see what happens. It’s in his court.

    • He did want me to come over that night to his place but I didn’t drive solo and I was drinking so I couldn’t drive. I did invite him back up to my place but he said he couldn’t drive out to LA. However, he knew all of this before he came out to see me – it wasn’t something I sprung on him last minute.

      I ended up calling him on Sunday and we chatted for a few minutes but didn’t make plans… Will post on this soon…

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