Ashleee Karen

Made it 4 months celibate…now what??

What to do…what to do…

Posted by ashleeekaren on December 27, 2010

So I’m at a point in my blogging life where I feel listless.  (The rest of my life is quite fabulous though, so there’s that…) Having ended the celibacy project, my blogging lacks a specific theme.  Always said I didn’t want to be another whiny dating blog – there are so many of them out there…

…yet, here I am, about to tell you about the latest GT development.

Some have suggested I start my celibacy project anew…that’s a possibility…but I think I would like to see exactly where this GT thing might go.  I haven’t completely written him off.  I did end up hearing from him, a lot later than I would have preferred, but I heard from him nonetheless.

I was a little bit annoyed when he called and I think he could tell.

GT: What’s up? What are you up to?

AK: Nothing.  Just smoking a cigarrette.

GT: That’s a bad habit.  You need to quit that. I should be the only bad habit you have…

AK:  Maybe I should quit that first…

A pause…

GT: So it’s like that, huh?

AK: Yep.

I got that jab in, but was polite for the rest of the conversation.  Having got the hint I was annoyed, he proceeded to tell me that right after he left my house he hopped on a plan last minute for work and was out of town for 3 days.  Doesn’t justify him failing to at least text me. Takes less than 10 seconds…but I didn’t want to get into it with him.  When we see each other again, I intend on letting him know that he needs to be a little bit more attentive in that regard. Especially since I let him stick his penis in my vagina…

Anyway, he then gave me his itinerary for the next 10 days – he’s going on a trip with his daughter and he’s doing x, y, and z fabulous industry related stuff while on the trip.  His schedule sounds packed and I already made up my mind not to expect to hear from him for the next 10 days.

GT: I know we’re both really busy, but we should try to talk at least every few days…

AK: Sounds good.

We texted each other Christmas Day and that’s about it.  No expectations = no disappointment.

After having been celibate for 4 months I thought that having sex with GT would have triggered a waterfall of sexual urges…but honestly…I’m not that horny.  Still haven’t opened up that new vibrator yet…I read back some of my old posts during the first 30 days of my celibacy project and I was like, geez, that girl sounds like an ANIMAL…



14 Responses to “What to do…what to do…”

  1. Ford Inbody said

    Hopefully things go well for you! I can understand being listless about blogging. I imagine you’ll find some angle to start talking about and you’ll be back before you know it.

    I agree though…you shouldn’t become another dating blog. Never fun to read.

    And you certainly shouldn’t become some random life blog that talks about anything and everything such as zombies, board games and superheroes. That’s just totally lame…

  2. Racer X said

    It seems like you are already drawn into the GT situation deeper than you may like to be at this time.

    I think one of the risks of sex is that can attach us to people before we really know who they are or how they are going to act. Another one of the benefits of celibacy: learning about others as well as ourselves.

    Now if we were lovers, well, you would feel loved. Then again, I have always been more the Casanova type of lover rather than the Don Juan type, and I have the sense that you really need to feel loved (like most women), especially after letting a man put his whole penis all the way inside your vagina.

    • I wouldn’t say I’m “drawn” into GT. I am definitely interested in getting to know him better. Trying not to obsess about it, but I know some people like to know what’s going on.

      Well…it’s too soon for me to want to feel loved by this guy. Respected is the more appropriate word/reaction that I’m looking for from him.

      On the upside, I think he got the hint and has been a little better about keeping in touch, so I’m happy about that.

      And I know you would totally be Casanova with me Racer 😉

  3. Gwen said

    Listless is the perfect word for this situation; well done!

    While it appears from what you wrote above that you were a bit passive aggressive during that conversation, like you said, he got the point that there needs to be more communication. I’m interested in seeing where this all goes.

    • Totally passive aggressive but I didn’t mean to – it just came out… Anyway, I do want to talk to him about it face to face and let him know what I need from him when it comes to following up after sex.

      And just as a small update for you – he did get the hint I think cuz he’s been texting me while on his trip which is nice. Sometimes women require very little to be kept happy 😉

  4. Focusing on yourself is important. Another important thing to do is to have backup people. You know, keep some potential love interests on the backburner. >.>’

  5. Oh yeah, and another thing, don’t agree to drive hundreds of miles to visit a guy. I mean, I know you did so reluctantly last time, and he ended up going over to your house instead, but honestly….

    I’ve found that whenever girls go chasing guys it doesn’t work out for them. My bf wanted me to get a bus and stay at his house in another town while most of his family was gone. I said no to that right away. He also wanted me to stay at his apartment, alone, in another state. I politely redirected it towards him visiting my family and meeting my parents, and as of now, that’s what he’s going to do next week. 🙂 And since it’s too early for sex, I’ll find other things to do to please him, like bake/cook some things for him or we could have an adventure in my city. who knows?

    Also, it’s good that he’s texting you, he should be the one pursuing you. Not the other way around.

    • It wasn’t hundreds of miles – it was more like 30 or 40 – when I posted before and said it was very far, I meant in cab terms. Knowing I was going to drink I didn’t want to drink and drive and a cab would’ve cost me a whole lot, so I figured getting a hotel room would’ve been more prudent as I could have a nice warm place to sleep as opposed to fumbling home in a stinky cab on the freeway… Plus I didn’t want to feel obligated to stay with him, so it was worth it for me.

      This last time he wanted me to come to some party and meet some of his friends, which is why he wanted me to drive up. It wasn’t too far from where I was at, maybe 20 minutes. That’s really the only time I’ve gone out of my way for him. He’s come to see me every other time, which I know is important in terms of posture. He’s been driving quite a bit back and forth to come see me and he seems more than happy to do so. But you are right, he should be pursuing me, not the other way around which is why I’m pleased he is texting and paying attention like he should.

      Good lookin out tho 😉

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